Hey ladies,
So I'm having a classroom issue and I was hoping to pick your brains and see if y'all have any suggestions. I'd really appreciate it.
My boys and girls hate each other... But seriously, we are having a lot of gender issues in our classroom. My kids are 8 or 9 and they are transitioning from that phase where it's all childhood innocence, into the beginnings of puberty. And with that comes a whole host of issues.
It all boils down to respect. Some of my girls are bossing all the other students around as if they are in charge, and some of my boys constantly make fun of each other, but especially make fun of the girls. There is constant taunting and stealing of pencils, or little scraps of paper. They don't want to play together, and so on and so forth. They are excluding the opposite gender from everything, even group discussions.
My kids can tell me what the problem is and they can say they will start respecting each other, but I don't see it. Today one boy told me that he can't be friends with girls until he is 18 because the minute he talks to a girl all the other students start teasing him saying "he's got a girlfriend"
It's gotten to the point where I've had multiple kids cry over it, in class and in recess. And I can't get through a single lesson without someone having a major breakdown.
Here's what I've done to address it so far.
1) The Purple Peace Tree
- We discussed peace and I made a tree in our room (I ran out of brown paper, so it's purple. Plus I like the alliteration. I feel like Ericca would enjoy the fact that it's purple) and then the kids made leaves which say what peace means to them. I taught my kids how to use I-statements ( I feel ____ when ___ because ____.) And they can go to the tree to resolve their own issues.
2) Class discussions on what respect means
3) Everyone close their eyes and raise your hand if...
-raise your hand if you have felt disrespected by another member of the 4th grade
-raise your hand if you have been sad or angry because of something another 4th grader said/did to you.
-raise your hand if you have been mean to another 4th grader
4) On a piece of paper write down everything that has been done to you, said to you, or happened that made you feel sad, angry, disrespected, or annoyed. They all wrote for a while, then put them in a box, which I threw away and then we talked about how we are throwing away the injustices of the past.
5) On a new sheet of paper draw or write how you will act towards your classmates moving forward. Share them with the class and then add them to the peace tree
I'm about out of ideas and there isn't a whole lot of good stuff on the internet (or I haven't found it) But it hasn't seemed to change their behaviour. Anyone have any ideas or strategies. Sorry this turned out so long. Miss you all and would love to hear how the beginning of your years are going. My midterm grades are due tomorrow. I feel like the year is moving really fast already!
So I'm having a classroom issue and I was hoping to pick your brains and see if y'all have any suggestions. I'd really appreciate it.
My boys and girls hate each other... But seriously, we are having a lot of gender issues in our classroom. My kids are 8 or 9 and they are transitioning from that phase where it's all childhood innocence, into the beginnings of puberty. And with that comes a whole host of issues.
It all boils down to respect. Some of my girls are bossing all the other students around as if they are in charge, and some of my boys constantly make fun of each other, but especially make fun of the girls. There is constant taunting and stealing of pencils, or little scraps of paper. They don't want to play together, and so on and so forth. They are excluding the opposite gender from everything, even group discussions.
My kids can tell me what the problem is and they can say they will start respecting each other, but I don't see it. Today one boy told me that he can't be friends with girls until he is 18 because the minute he talks to a girl all the other students start teasing him saying "he's got a girlfriend"
It's gotten to the point where I've had multiple kids cry over it, in class and in recess. And I can't get through a single lesson without someone having a major breakdown.
Here's what I've done to address it so far.
1) The Purple Peace Tree
- We discussed peace and I made a tree in our room (I ran out of brown paper, so it's purple. Plus I like the alliteration. I feel like Ericca would enjoy the fact that it's purple) and then the kids made leaves which say what peace means to them. I taught my kids how to use I-statements ( I feel ____ when ___ because ____.) And they can go to the tree to resolve their own issues.
2) Class discussions on what respect means
3) Everyone close their eyes and raise your hand if...
-raise your hand if you have felt disrespected by another member of the 4th grade
-raise your hand if you have been sad or angry because of something another 4th grader said/did to you.
-raise your hand if you have been mean to another 4th grader
4) On a piece of paper write down everything that has been done to you, said to you, or happened that made you feel sad, angry, disrespected, or annoyed. They all wrote for a while, then put them in a box, which I threw away and then we talked about how we are throwing away the injustices of the past.
5) On a new sheet of paper draw or write how you will act towards your classmates moving forward. Share them with the class and then add them to the peace tree
I'm about out of ideas and there isn't a whole lot of good stuff on the internet (or I haven't found it) But it hasn't seemed to change their behaviour. Anyone have any ideas or strategies. Sorry this turned out so long. Miss you all and would love to hear how the beginning of your years are going. My midterm grades are due tomorrow. I feel like the year is moving really fast already!
Ah, sounds very frustrating to me. Some ideas I have:
ReplyDeleteIncentives- begin an incentive program for students who are kind to each other, share with each other, help each other and give each other compliments... I'd say they could get points towards the incentive no matter who the kindness is shown towards, but maybe in your case you could emphasize it must be towards someone of the opposite gender
Teach a lesson on gender equality, get them thinking about whether men and women should have equal rights- perhaps this will get them motivated to be more cooperative together
Have them do a project with a member of the opposite sex, it could be something they research and they have to agree on something they are both interested in
Dare I say it.... Do the human knot?
Maybe do a debate activity on anything! Mix up boys and girls and get them taking a side in mixed groups together. Hopefully then they will start bonding and begin to start communicating more positively with each other.
Hope this helps.!! I'll keep thinking :)
This sounds very stressful. I like Natalie's idea about gender equality. If there is a distinct issue between genders (which it seems like there definitely is) maybe a discussion on gender complexities would be cool. Looking at gender through social/historical/cultural lenses could be interesting. Maybe they'll make connections to their current behavior and think they are acting silly. Is their behavior reflective of their culture at all? Maybe this is more deeply rooted than the immature "cooties" type thing I was imagining.
ReplyDeleteWow! Those are great ideas! I'll add that without both males and females the world would end. Maybe look at behavior between genders in different animal species, just to mix things up?
ReplyDeleteAlso, Jon it sounds like you've already done really great things towards resolving this issue. Kudos on the purple tree - how'd you know I would love that?? ;)
Hello there Mr. Simmons!
ReplyDeleteAll of your strategies are extremely impressive and I'm sad to see that they're not working as effectively - serious bummer, man. I really like Natalie's suggestions (go girl) and Melissa & Erica's suggestions as well. To add onto what everyone else has been saying - how about some role play? Get a little creative and a little funky - just up your alley, ha. Go with the gender equality discussion - give them a scenario in which the girls must respond as boys and the boys as girls - have them discuss in small groups, journal individually, or just share out as a class (maybe think-pair-share it perhaps?). This may get them thinking, as well as to help them create a new "lens" to gain perspectives - Christine would be so proud haha. It's a suggestion - feel free to throw it out the window if you don't think it would be successful for your classroom.
Hello there Mr. Simmons!
ReplyDeleteAll of your strategies are extremely impressive and I'm sad to see that they're not working as effectively - serious bummer, man. I really like Natalie's suggestions (go girl) and Melissa & Erica's suggestions as well. To add onto what everyone else has been saying - how about some role play? Get a little creative and a little funky - just up your alley, ha. Go with the gender equality discussion - give them a scenario in which the girls must respond as boys and the boys as girls - have them discuss in small groups, journal individually, or just share out as a class (maybe think-pair-share it perhaps?). This may get them thinking, as well as to help them create a new "lens" to gain perspectives - Christine would be so proud haha. It's a suggestion - feel free to throw it out the window if you don't think it would be successful for your classroom.
Hi John!!
ReplyDeleteI love the Purple Peace Tree. Montessori is all about peace education. We have a "peace rose" in the classroom (a fake rose). Whenever the students have a conflict, they get the peace to help them talk it out. The students pass the peace rose back and forth, and only the person who is holding the rose is allowed to talk. I have 6-8 year olds and this is a really helpful ongoing tool for them. I don't know if 8-9 year olds will buy the whole peace rose idea, but maybe they will benefit from another object that can serve as some sort of talk tool. I hope this helps and I hope your school year is going well!!